One of my biggest regrets as a special needs parent is not realizing sooner that what I didn't know could impact the future of caring for my son and myself.
What do I mean by that?
For 20 years, I believed I was doing everything necessary for my son, Nathan, who has cerebral palsy.
I stayed on top of his specialist appointments. I made sure he received the therapies he needed. I learned how to navigate emergencies as they came. I became a strong advocate so he had access to the services and supports he deserved. Over the years, I learned from professionals, from other parents, and from experience. Every new challenge taught me something, and I did everything I knew to do to give my son the very best life possible.
Looking back now, I realize there were equally important decisions I needed to be making for Nathan's future, my future, and my family's future. The difference is that no one had ever explained those decisions to me. I didn't know financial and long-term planning was even part of the parenting journey for families like ours. And because I didn't know, I never asked.
Then, twenty years into my parenting journey, someone sat down with me for the first time to talk about Nathan's future.
As we walked through the questions together, I realized that many of the financial and long-term planning pieces our family needed simply were not in place. I had never been taught they existed.
You can't go back and reclaim twenty years.
But you can decide what you'll do today.
That moment became the beginning of a new learning journey for me.
Over the last two years, I have intentionally been working alongside financial planner Dr. Nicole B. Simpson so I could better understand the financial and long-term planning landscape for families like mine. I wanted to understand what decisions needed to be made, assess where our family was, and begin putting the right pieces in place.
Two years into that journey, I am not where I ultimately want to be, but I am no longer where I was. We still have work to do, but today I have greater clarity, greater confidence, and a much better understanding of how to prepare for Nathan's future and ours.
One of the commitments I have made to myself over the years is that whenever I learn something that could change another family's journey, I'll share it. That's why financial and long-term planning has become one of the pillars of education at The Special Needs Mama Bear. If learning these lessons changed the way I think about Nathan's future, I know they can change the way other families think about theirs.
That's exactly why The Quiet Shift, written by Dr. Nicole B. Simpson and Sharon Stanford, spoke to me in the way it did.
Many of you already know Dr. Nicole through our Financial & Long-Term Planning Workshops, where she has been helping families understand this often-overlooked part of the parenting journey. As I read her book, I wasn't simply reading an author's work. I found myself reflecting on many of the lessons I have been learning over the past two years.
In the foreword, Reverend DeForest B. Soaries Jr. shares how, after an unexpected car accident, he experienced a deep sense of peace because he had already prepared for moments like that.
Having worked with Dr. Nicole long before the accident occurred, he wrote these transformative words:
"Fortunately, I was prepared for the eventuality of something like this happening."
That sentence reminded me that preparation doesn't eliminate life's uncertainties. It simply allows us to face them differently.
As I continued reading, I came across another passage that helped me understand why that kind of preparation can feel so difficult for families like ours.
I found myself lingering over those words long after I had turned the page.
They captured something I had never quite been able to put into words.
As parents raising children with disabilities, by necessity, we quickly become experts at managing the immediate. We learn how to navigate therapies, doctor's appointments, school meetings, medications, equipment, caregiving, and the countless decisions that demand our attention today.
And while we're faithfully managing today's needs, tomorrow quietly waits for us.
As the years pass, questions like these begin to surface.
Before I began learning about financial and long-term planning, those questions kept me awake at night, too. These days, they don't keep me awake the way they once did. Not because I have all the answers, but because I've started putting the right pieces in place.
Along the way, I also discovered something unexpected.
That quiet was happening for me in a future-defining way. My only regret, I didn't start working on this sooner.
If this article has stirred something in you, I'd love to invite you to continue your learning journey inside The Mama Bear Collective.
I've made our complete Financial & Long-Term Planning Workshop available to Collective members, so you can watch all four sessions at your own pace. In this workshop, Dr. Nicole Simpson and I walk through many of the conversations and decisions every family raising a child with a disability should understand. You'll also have access to practical resources designed to help you begin putting the right pieces in place for your family's future.
At The Special Needs Mama Bear, our mission is simple.
We educate. We equip. We empower.
So you can confidently make the decisions that shape your child's life.
You can't go back and reclaim twenty years.
But you can begin today.
If my twenty years can become your twenty-year head start, then every lesson I've learned has been worth sharing.
I'd be honored to walk this part of the journey with you.
👉 Join The Mama Bear Collective today:
https://thespecialneedsmamabear.com/products/mama-bear-collective
No contracts. Cancel anytime. If you cancel before your next billing date, no future payments will be collected, and you'll continue to have full access to your membership through the end of your current billing period.
Keep becoming the Mama and Papa Bear you were always meant to be. 💛
Andria Brown —
What I like about the Mama Bear’s blogs/articles and interviews, is that it goes beyond disability matters. It encompasses a lot of different aspects of family life and relatable issues that one can say “Hey that is/was me.” It also gives a wealth of information and ideas that one can use not only to help themselves but to help others.